Bestfriend or boyfriend???

It's almost a year I try to muv on, leaving memories wif Mr. R... Now I'm targetting new one... Hehehe But there are too many buts in this relationship. Is he juz like Mr. R who juz like to be friend wif me and not more than dat. But believe me, sumtimes I feel really close to him... He always asked me out... The other day, I went out to McD Setiawangsa wif him to watch football Oranje vs Japan. Not so many people there but the most important thing we share our stories. Laughing together & gossipping together... I know we're happy together... But I know, he juz treat me as a friend... Not more than dat... Proof? For example, I pay myself for anything I bought. And also from the 'janda' story...
Want to hear bout the 'janda' story? Well, I dun really know about her but he always tell me dat, the 'janda' wants him so bad... But he always ignore her and treat her juz like his any girl frens... (I think I'm one of his common girl fren)... Well, about the story... The other day, he went to clinic becoz he had a fever... And he sms me about things happen at the clinic... So, I replied his messages like usual but sumthing weird happen... Yes, he did mention 'horny' but he never meant to do sumthing about it to me... REALLY! The message sounds like dis
He:"Horny baby orghhh kiss me kiss me"
Me:"Are u talking to me?"
He:"Ahh dun be shy hunny b.. i know u want it too...Alejandro"
Me:"Are u okay?"
He:"Ohhh ahh hit me baby. hit me, hit me more"
Me:"Hey, dats woman's script."
He:"*z** is sleeping. Dis is his fren. hehhe"
Me:"Oh ok, juz let him sleep. Good boy"
He:"Who r u? Are u the one who always contact him?"
Me:"No, dats not me. That's janda"
He:"Janda who?"
Me:"Well, it's a secret"
He:"I'm May*****. He's sleeping at the office"
At that time, I thought he was playing wif me, but it's true... Sumone did sumthing to his fon and delete all the messages...And u know wat, the 'janda' replied the messages... He ask me the next day about it and said "why did u mention 'janda'... Juz answer dat u r one of my fren"... At dat time, I realize myself again dat I'm juz one of his fren. Pity me huh...
Hmmm sumtimez I juz can't accept the truth, why did he chose another girl to fall in love wif but DAT girl never appreciates him... She is wif sumone else, and I'm the one who understands him (at least dat is wat I believe). And another fact is I'm pretty and kind and always be there for him...Many boys will try to make me to be their gf but I ignore them. And he juz can't see me!! My heart is not open for others but only for him... Why and WHY?!!!
But sumetimez I try to blind myself wif lies so dat I believe he is into me, it's juz the time is not right yet...For example, after the game, he ask me for a movie...Toystory3...Believe me, I never reject him...All his invitations are always a great idea for me unless I really can't. Eventhough I did promise to get home early but I always neglect it juz for him....Arghhh I'm really falling for him... The next morning, my sister & brother asked about the night,"what time did u get back home?" & "With whom?"...The truth is I was going out wif ONLY him. And then went movie ONLY wif him...And then my sister asked "are both of u couple?" I said "No, we're juz frens". And my brother asked," do you like him? or he likes u" and I answer, "No, he treats me juz like a fren" But my sister didn't believe "I dun believe you. I will never ask sumone dat I dun like to watch muvi with. Only both of u. At night??? After 10pm???" In my heart, I said to myself, "I'm happy if that is the truth, I wish dat he's into me... But he is not. Dear Allah, plz help ur slave... I'm too weak to face the reality...Plz give me a happy news.. I juz want to hear from him that he LUVs me. Until when shud I live a lonely life, and for how long shud I wait for Mr. Right... If he's not meant for me, plz show me who is my Mr. Right...I'm sick rite now..Not sure how long I can survive wif dis feeling"