Face The TRUTH!

Dis afternoon my supervisor came to observe our place... He was impressed wif the environment here... He asked us a few questions about work place and other things too. But there are things really hurt me. He said dat he more attracted to Miss Y. I dun know... I do admit I dun know how to speak very well like her.. But for me she speaks craps eventhough she looks very confident.... If he lives with her, he will know the truth... All she said were lies for me... Dunt ever trust her... Hypocryte! Hmmm am I jealous? Maybe but sumtimes I think the most important thing is to be yourself... Yes, I know I'm not dat good but she is a fake. And she got all the credits... Dis is not fair!! Well, I think I hav to face the truth... Be better person yea! Dun live on history but let the history teach you become a better person

JoT iT DoWn!

Do you know what? I like to keep several msgs dat I wanna reread it for myself.... It's like syok sendiri msg..hhiihihi
1. "ok set. minggu ni sy dpt mkn ct ***** masak.. yeay. lalala" (22/2/10 8.55pm)
"nk awk msk ;P" (26/2/2010 11.25pm)
- dis is my 1st time cooking for sumone... at that time i was hesitate becoz there is nothing between us but i do like him. and he seems really want me to cook for him...so i cooked spaghetti. i learned from my sis and do it myself... at dat time, his college has a festival(ptb if i'm not mistaken) and next week got midsem exams....I asked him out before but he wants to study. Me & Miss Y want to watch "My Name is Khan" at that time....Luckily Miss Y has a car & can help me to send the spaghetti to him. At that time it was very hot plus the air-cond was broken..When we arrive at his hostel, he gave us 2 pepsis & a jumper...(Miss Y always got problem with her car battery)...Waaaa how understanding he is...
2. "jom sarapan" (7/3/10 7.37am)
-dis msg i wasn't expected and i read it an hour after. I was awake at dat time and having my breakfast alone. When i replied, he said he oready had his breakfast, i was too late. hmm i accuse him 'hangat2 tahi ayam' coz i thot he didn't mean it.... actually he was from airport sending his supervisor.
3. "mkn xingt org..nk ckit..dh bka mulot :0 aaa (10/3/10 9.19pm)
'bkak mulot..aaa luas2 luas2" (11/3/10 7.37am)
-the first msg was when me, my sis & my brother in law went celebrating my sis bestday...we went for satay sahmuri at the uptown. nothing actually but i think dat msg is so cute... the next msg is when he was in his sister's house at ampang while his mother there too...he told me dat he was making breakfast... luckily i was awake at that time...hihih usually i still on my bed :D
4. mms photo of his car at workshop (13/3/2010 2.28am) "ds ni manja betol"
- luckily he was saved.... the brake was broken, almost got accident at duke highway....
5."lol.stahun lbih lg kot. klo sy kje tv3 bleh la duk sna. sy angkat awk jd bibik sy k. hahaha" (13/3/2010 3.21pm)
"hahaha blum ape2 dh up. xleh2 awk kna keja 24/7 =P" (13/3/2010 3.25pm)
-those msgs i kept...others i delete but i still can remember...i think so huhu...at dat time i was texting him bout how tired i was cleaning the house. and he asked how about the new house, who will clean it and who will stay at the current house. i asked him wether he wants to rent it? but a year after...ahahahha he wants me to be his bibik...i told him dat it's quite hard but i can clean it every saturday and mark up my salary...hahahha he said dat i shud stay wif him, stay at the small room near the kitchen...i told him...it is my room...hahah we had a long chat about that..

Prologue

It starts from Miss N... We are good frens actually since our pre-u... Hmm she knows him thru internet...I'm not sure how but i do admit Miss N likes to make a lot of frens, different from me... So when she went to kl(i think it's 2 years ago), she stayed wif me a night at my hostel. But the next morning they meet up at McD section 14... As usual, she will ask me to come along... As a fren, I'm hard to say NO... When I met him at the first time, I thought he was a senior. Becoz the way he behave, he looks very confident, the way he talk to us, very polite, softspoken and matured. I'm quite impressed with his attitude.
I thought they will be a couple becoz it seems dat he will do anything for her. Met her and her dad at the airport before depart. Always keep in touch(call everyday?)...For me a boyfren will do dat... I saw his concern and really envy of her. She is lucky to have him. But the 'couple thing' was did not happen. I try to help him to have Miss N back but she won't listen & told me, "he shud wif sumone better". And Miss N told me what she dislikes about him, plus she said she is 'tawar hati' oready. I dunno wat really happen between 2 of them. But some of her statements, i do agree he's like dat. But for me it is natural if a guy will say sumthing like dat. We r no more a teenager...We r old enough to accept certain facts.
Hmm well I thot I will never see him again becoz Miss N is not around. But not so long(maybe a month) after she went back to Kch, he asked me to join him for supper. He looks really messed up & tired. He said he was at the lab before he came to meet me at my college's cafe. I dunno, even I only met him once, I didn't feel awkward spending time wif him. Eating and hav a talk. Actually I dun really remember what we had discuss but the other day he said he still remember dat I suggest him to choose the best for his practical's location. REALLY! I dun remember about dis. Becoz dat happen maybe in two years ago. Huhu
How did we getting close now? Hmmm yes, he did save my fon no before. But I did not know dat he still kept it. I think it starts last year. Not so long after I got issue with Mr. R. Me & Miss Y were having our lunch at 12th residential. And there is a booth selling Hotlink's sim cards & reloads. Miss Y was buying a simcard for her nephew. And I thot of buying new one too becoz for certain reasons...hehehe dun want to mention it here...The most important think I want to buy it becoz I want to change to prepaid & got cheaper in rates (Youth club). After went back to lab, I've got a msg from him... It's awkward to hav a msg from him becoz we didn't realy contact each other. He said dat I was 'sombong' becoz didn't greet him. I was surprised becoz I didn't notice he was at the booth too buying reload... Well I thot dat is not a big deal. I'm not sure how long was the gap but I think maybe a few days after I've got a msg again. He told me dat he saw me crossing the street wif my zebra's bag. And also another day at the library, he saw me in green... AndI dunno why, I always didn't notice him....Starting dat day we always SMS to each other. Ok, later I'll continue writing ok....I like to write it here becoz it's like a diary to me and I want to keep it to me...As long as I know what I wrote... :)

Bila Cinta- GIO (male version)

Bila cinta kini
Tak lagi bermakna
Yang ku rasa kini
Hanyalah nestapa
Ditinggalkan cinta masa lalu

Dulu kau tawarkan
Manisnya janjimu
Dan ku sambut itu
Dengan segenap hatiku
Hingga engkau pergi
Tinggalkanku

Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hingga ku memilih
Cinta yang fana

Perginya dirimu
merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan

Ku sebut namamu
di setiap doaku
Bangkitkan setiap
kenangan tentangmu
yang ku dapat hanyalah bayangmu

Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hingga ku memilih
Cinta yang fana

Perginya dirimu
merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan
Uuu…
Di dalam harapan..

Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hingga ku memilih
Cinta yang fana

Perginya dirimu
merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan…

Bestfriend or boyfriend???

It's almost a year I try to muv on, leaving memories wif Mr. R... Now I'm targetting new one... Hehehe But there are too many buts in this relationship. Is he juz like Mr. R who juz like to be friend wif me and not more than dat. But believe me, sumtimes I feel really close to him... He always asked me out... The other day, I went out to McD Setiawangsa wif him to watch football Oranje vs Japan. Not so many people there but the most important thing we share our stories. Laughing together & gossipping together... I know we're happy together... But I know, he juz treat me as a friend... Not more than dat... Proof? For example, I pay myself for anything I bought. And also from the 'janda' story...
Want to hear bout the 'janda' story? Well, I dun really know about her but he always tell me dat, the 'janda' wants him so bad... But he always ignore her and treat her juz like his any girl frens... (I think I'm one of his common girl fren)... Well, about the story... The other day, he went to clinic becoz he had a fever... And he sms me about things happen at the clinic... So, I replied his messages like usual but sumthing weird happen... Yes, he did mention 'horny' but he never meant to do sumthing about it to me... REALLY! The message sounds like dis
He:"Horny baby orghhh kiss me kiss me"
Me:"Are u talking to me?"
He:"Ahh dun be shy hunny b.. i know u want it too...Alejandro"
Me:"Are u okay?"
He:"Ohhh ahh hit me baby. hit me, hit me more"
Me:"Hey, dats woman's script."
He:"*z** is sleeping. Dis is his fren. hehhe"
Me:"Oh ok, juz let him sleep. Good boy"
He:"Who r u? Are u the one who always contact him?"
Me:"No, dats not me. That's janda"
He:"Janda who?"
Me:"Well, it's a secret"
He:"I'm May*****. He's sleeping at the office"
At that time, I thought he was playing wif me, but it's true... Sumone did sumthing to his fon and delete all the messages...And u know wat, the 'janda' replied the messages... He ask me the next day about it and said "why did u mention 'janda'... Juz answer dat u r one of my fren"... At dat time, I realize myself again dat I'm juz one of his fren. Pity me huh...
Hmmm sumtimez I juz can't accept the truth, why did he chose another girl to fall in love wif but DAT girl never appreciates him... She is wif sumone else, and I'm the one who understands him (at least dat is wat I believe). And another fact is I'm pretty and kind and always be there for him...Many boys will try to make me to be their gf but I ignore them. And he juz can't see me!! My heart is not open for others but only for him... Why and WHY?!!!
But sumetimez I try to blind myself wif lies so dat I believe he is into me, it's juz the time is not right yet...For example, after the game, he ask me for a movie...Toystory3...Believe me, I never reject him...All his invitations are always a great idea for me unless I really can't. Eventhough I did promise to get home early but I always neglect it juz for him....Arghhh I'm really falling for him... The next morning, my sister & brother asked about the night,"what time did u get back home?" & "With whom?"...The truth is I was going out wif ONLY him. And then went movie ONLY wif him...And then my sister asked "are both of u couple?" I said "No, we're juz frens". And my brother asked," do you like him? or he likes u" and I answer, "No, he treats me juz like a fren" But my sister didn't believe "I dun believe you. I will never ask sumone dat I dun like to watch muvi with. Only both of u. At night??? After 10pm???" In my heart, I said to myself, "I'm happy if that is the truth, I wish dat he's into me... But he is not. Dear Allah, plz help ur slave... I'm too weak to face the reality...Plz give me a happy news.. I juz want to hear from him that he LUVs me. Until when shud I live a lonely life, and for how long shud I wait for Mr. Right... If he's not meant for me, plz show me who is my Mr. Right...I'm sick rite now..Not sure how long I can survive wif dis feeling"

i want to be free!

Sumtimez i think i'm really a stubborn person...eventhough my sister asked me to stay at home, i will never do dat... i prefer to hangout wif frens especially weekdays' nights...i dun mind if me & my frens juz talking, gossiping or anything else...the most important thing is i'm boring doing nothing...i dunno whether i'm really a bad youngest sister or i'm a normal person who juz wanna hav fun...i keep on giving excuses so dat i'm away from home..am i mean to my sis???

We Love MJ

Huhuuhu last night was unexpecting night. Watching 'This Is It' gives me positive impacts about MJ. Actually I'm not really a big fan of MJ, err actually not really a fan. I only knew he did exists until he died few months ago. Hmmm I want to make some review about last nite show. How am I to start? OK, when my bro asked me to join to watch the muvi, I'm not really excited. But he said, it's his treat... So, why not? Heheheh when I stepped into the hall last nite, there are few people only sharing the hall with us. I was wondering why. Thought dat this is sumthing dat people wait for a long time. I asked Hanna, and she said she oso dunno but at One Utama, the tickets were sold out. After the muvi, my bro said, actually our hall was 2nd hall. The 1st hall is full. So, forget about dat. We talk about the muvi. It started wif the dancers who selected all over the world. Saying TQs to MJ and how they really appreciated it, the chance to be in his show and it's like a dream come true. So the story is about preparing the concert that supposed to be held in July. But he can't make it. From the story many things I had noticed. First, he is really kind, humble, softspoken. When he asked the music director, he asked him politely. And most of the time phrases "God bless you" and "I Love You" are on his lips. Saying TQs, that is very sweet. For me, it's very seldom for me to meet people who is very easy to say TQ and really appreciate what people did for him/her. We shud learn dis from him. To be good and kind to everyone around us. He loves this planet, so we shud too. His msg "Heal the world" thru this documentary, we can feel it. We oso can see he loves kids. Well, everyone knows dat. Next thing is, at his age, 50 years old. He looks healthy and still fit. But juz now I read about him, he had aneroxia when he was young and become a vegetarian. Maybe because he danced a lot too. So the moral of the story, dance while u can. For a healthy lifestyle...hohoho juz kidding. But I really impressed how he danced. Plus he dances while he sings! He really knows how to control his breathing, vocal and etc. The music is in him! No one can do moonwalk juz like him. No one juz can't. Dat is wat really special about MJ. ;> Third thing is he is really committed to his work. When he tests the sound, he knows what he wants. And he knows what his fans expected from him. "We give what they want". All his doings are only for his fans. I'm sure the satisfaction is there when we can satisfied others. The other thing is he tries to help new stars to shine. He gathers dancers all over the world juz to help them acknowledged. The backup singers, the gitarists...All of them are new to me. But he chose best from the best. Sumtimes there are a lot of people who r talented but they don't hav the chance to show it... Well, this is it. Watching this documentary makes my opinions changed about MJ. Before this I hav a thought he is a freak because he transformed himself from black to white. And rumours said about his plastic faces and body will torn out. But till last nite it looks fine to me. And about the molestation, I dun really believe it. People do things for money and if he really did, it's all about his history. Maybe because his parents not really good to him. Especially his father. Well we dun really know. Wow, that's a lot to write about this person. Maybe u shud watch it by yourself. And then u'll understand. Me who is not really like him trying to understand and starting to like him eventhough it's too late. At least he gave me a good & positive impressions after his death. His death means we lose sumone who is very special, who is very kind, a star and loving is what he spreads. Inspire others to success and inspire others to inspire others too. Got what I meant? IF he really Muslim, may Allah bless him. Hope that all good deeds he did paid in good ways. Rest in peace....